I grew up with a stereotypical dose of measured warnings not
to be friendly with strangers and not to place my faith in anybody unless and
until I was well acquainted with them. Leading a sheltered, protected life till
date, I have often wondered why the world does not deserve my unquestioning
acceptance, my total trust.
I have often wondered why, when we meet someone new, the
instinct is to fence ourselves and erect a wall of opposition rather than pour
out love and honesty into our cursory, pretentious handshakes.
I used to think that people are scared of people, of letting
them in, of opening up, of confessing things to them and broadly, of having to
deal with pain later on in life. I was wrong. An absence of trust does not come
from fearing others. It stems from fearing our own selves.
The world, basically, hinges on trust.
You show up at school. The territory is strange and frightening.
A grown up lady smiles and offers her hand. You have no option but to take it,
so you do. For all the years you learn to count and spell, she ensures you
develop to the best of your potential. She does this for you, not just for herself.
Today, you make a point to thank her, every Teachers’ Day.
You apply for jobs; blurt out details after details about
yourself, your passion, your ideas and your dreams before hostile interviewers.
You get tired. Then, one day, you get placed. When you are promoted, your
recruiter throws you a party. You learn every friend was once a stranger.
You see a first timer trying to figure out an escalator. You
extend your hand; they clasp it firmly without second thoughts. They are
aboard. You rise up together, and they leave with a grateful smile.
You board an auto-rickshaw, knowing nothing of the driver’s
past, present or future. You speak out the unfamiliar address you have to
reach. He turns the meter down and off you
go, trusting him to deliver you safely to your destination. You arrive, hand
over the money and sometimes, bother to say thanks.
You ask the solitary jogger on the street for directions to
a friend’s house you haven’t visited in a long time. He points you to the
house, simplifying the route so you don’t get lost in the darkness of the dawn.
You are glad he was passing by.
You call up the ambulance and have no idea who picks up the
phone. Within minutes, the siren is blazing at your doorstep. The doctors at
the hospital manage to defeat the heart attack that almost killed your dad.
They tell you timely action can save lives in most cases. You breathe a long
held sigh of relief.
You make a pen-pal who lives 6000 kilometers away. You
picture her going about her daily life as you bitch to her about your boss. You
invite her to your wedding. You don’t really expect her to come. She shows up beforehand,
to help you get prepared.
The world hinges on trust.
Yes, there are people who will abuse your faith only to
bring you down and make selfish gains. Yes, there are people who will be sugarcoated
pills. Yes, there will be people who can be dangerous to get close to.
Nonetheless, distrust can close windows which are actually letting
light in.
That said, I am not asking you to blindly make the best of
friends with strangers. I am only advising not to keep yourself locked in and
label others before getting to know them.
Kindness is an inherent human virtue. Nobody is cruel by
birth. Infants smile at you when you smile at them. Grown-ups aren’t that
different. And, each person on the planet has their demons plaguing them,
knocking the daylights out of them, plunging them into whirlpools of sorrow and
despair.
So, be gentle, instead of being accusatory. Try to look a
little further than the exterior and appreciate the circumstances people come
from. And, most importantly, stop fearing yourself, so that you can have the
courage to keep your trust in humanity, when you meet someone new… the way you
already do. J
