Friday, 9 October 2015

Leave

Pack up everything that belongs to you
And leave.
Don't leave me with keepsakes.
Just leave.

Gather the memories you left
In the crevices, corners, folds of my being.
Dust the places of me
you left parts of yourself in.
And leave.

Look for your favorite colour in my paintings
And your favorite songs in my playlist
And your movie recommendations in my browser history.
Extract them.
And leave.

Don't forget to pick up
Your books that line my over crowded shelves.
And planned birthday presents for every year till you turn
twenty four. 

Rip away the pages of my diary
That smoke with the ashes of your name.

Help yourself to the make believe world
I crafted for us.
But, remember, half of it
still belongs to me.
Leave me with mine.
Take yours.
Then, leave. 

You are free to share it
with somebody beautiful.

Let light illuminate the jagged edges
Of my broken pieces.
I don't need you to put me back together. 
Just take what is yours
And i will help myself.
Leave.

Take away the stories you told
The poetry you wrote
Take it all away, my wishes upon 
imaginary shooting stars
And single strands of eyelashes
And coins tossed into decrepit fountains-
What wish would they fulfill,
When they can't keep me from wishing?

Pack those wishes away in your luggage
So that I can trust myself to
Believe in promises, once more.
Then, leave.

I don't have enough space
In my closet, bedroom, slam book,
heart, soul and mind
To accommodate the two of us. 

I don't have the strength
To listen to unsaid words
Nor the intellect
To weave the threads of meaning around them.
Leave.

I don't need you to mess things up-
I am an expert at that, already.
I don't need advice, patience, practice, sighs
Love isn't a drug good enough
To cure me. 

Take all your love back.
Maybe someone will have use
For all your kindness.

Please.

Leave. 

Sunday, 4 October 2015

Times when You Fall in Love with the Metro :)

We often end up taking our lives for granted. Okay, if you are still reading this after the super clich├ęd introduction, thank you  for believing in me :p

I hope this meets your expectations. And even if it doesn't, I hope you begin to notice stuff that always existed around you, but never quite found its way to your consciousness.

I take my one hour commute to college for granted.  Commuting doesn't exactly top the list of Delhiites' favorite things to do, yet it is something we all have to, day in and day out. 

Today, I take time out to list some curious Delhi Metro phenomena that make me feel super awesome on my way to college, and which could make your commute joyful, too, if only you unplugged those earphones, shut the newspaper slash book slash e-book you read on your way, logged out of all the social networking nonsense and took in the world around you, for a change.

1. When the metro enters the platform:
And I stand dangerously close to the warning yellow line, watching its serpentine, perfectly engineered (though slightly degenerating) body rushing towards me, I experience sheer bliss. And when I wear my hair loose, it is even better. The wind whooshes through my open hair, messing them up, unlike Bollywood movies where hair is supposed to stay poker straight even when the actors are braving mind numbing storms :p
The high wind velocity and the sense of freedom and weightlessness it brings, makes me feel grateful to be alive, if only for an instant.

2. When you are expecting a four/six coach and it turns out to be a six/eight coach: 
Because obviously, the longer the train, the more chances of bagging the much coveted seat. It is presumptuous to assume you will get to sit, but, then, ummeed pe duniya kayam hai. 

3. When you actually get a seat:
It is like India winning the world cup. Only, your joy won't be shared by fellow Indians who lost out on the seat :p but, what the hell...you enjoy your lucky day :p 

4. When you willfully give up your seat to someone who needs it more than you do:
It is so much better than India winning the world cup. It is like your archenemy(you get the reference, right?) losing out in the finals :p Honestly, the satisfaction is immense and you end up feeling so good about yourself for the whole day that you can barely restrain yourself from dancing in public. Extra happiness is almost always welcome, right?

5. When you help a clueless kid or a grown-up climb the escalator:
The smiles on their faces when they step up successfully and get down without injuring themselves.... You feel like giving up the world for that! And their nervous-embarrassed thank yous- a great start to a great day! :)

6. When you unexpectedly bump into people from your past:
No, I don't mean ex-es :P 
I mean the good people from your past, because you obviously pretend to ignore the miserable ones! :P 
Classmates from school, coaching classes, juniors, seniors... Friends you thought you'd never see again. It is amazing the stuff people will remember about you. And you can relive all the bittersweet memories and laugh at how silly you used to be and how wonderful the bygone times were. Things, I have noticed, are beautiful, in hindsight. So when you are down, you can always remind yourself that this too shall pass. And, smile. Metro could be a lesson in letting go!

7. When people bump into other people: 
Suresh, tu? Ramesh, tu? And the hugs, the happiness, the bewilderment. If only metro had popcorn outlets, the show would be even more entertaining :)

8. When you are so tired you sit down at the platform, back against the wall,in your favourite company:
This happens on my way back home. Sometimes, the metro refuses to arrive and your feet hurt from all the standing. So, plop down your bottoms on the air-conditioned platform floors and rest your backs against the walls and have a tetra pack of Frooti with your friends and bitch about the professors, the coursework, life, the universe and everything. But, yeah, don't forget that cribbing and crying won't make the Metro arrive any faster :P


So, this is what I totally love about going to college and coming back. The time I get with myself on the commute, the time I can spend watching the ways of the world, the time that is mine and absolutely mine to own and spend :) 
Try doing some of this the next time you travel via the Delhi Metro, and I hope you identify better with whatever experiences I have shared!

Happy journeying :)