A Shrine to my Anxiety

My anxiety is not a
missed plane.
It is a connecting flight
that got delayed,
ruining the best of
how my future was laid-
My anxiety is a snowball,
devouring everything
that lies in its wake.

My anxiety is not lyrics
half sung
and half cried out in pain.
It is when my typing slurs
and I use smilies a bit too much,
when I am not really happy
but just making it up-
My anxiety is a mask
that pretends to be my face.

My anxiety is not getting
drenched in the rains.
It is carrying oceans
inside my eyes,
where the world can't swim
and comes crashing down as a tide-
My anxiety is an abyss,
not so much a resting place.

My anxiety is not reasons
or causes or things
that didn't go right.
It is fear
based on baselessness,
a dark, intangible fright.
So, when you ask me 'what's wrong'
and I say 'nothing,'
I'm not really lying.

My anxiety doesn't
need pills or poultices or poems.
My anxiety craves a shrine,
so it deserts the whole wide world
and settles, instead,
for my mind.

Schrödiger's Thought

I was wondering if you'd know where to find me 

if you'd know how if you'd know why 

if you'd know how much of me was still left to look for.

I was wondering if you'd trek mountains or descend valleys 

or comb forests or sweep beaches or surf waves or 

if you'd abandon me midway 

if the idea of me would  vaporize.

I was wondering if you'd call me names and play blame games 

if you'd realize the futility if you knew lost meant gone 

if you'd label someone lost a lost cause.

I was wondering if once you discovered that someone wasn't 

who you thought they were, 

the search was over or if it had just begun.

I was wondering if you could figure out that the only place 

we could lose ourselves was our selves; 

I was wondering if that was precisely 

where we could hope to be found.

Between The Lines- June 2016

Back with my column, 'Between the Lines' in Resurgam Magazine (June, 2016)

This month's poem relates to music :)

(Reading order- column wise from left to right, and then, the para at the bottom.)

Link to download:

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/646619