Wednesday, 1 October 2014

The Friend I Am

I wish you were the friend I am.

I wish you did not need Face Book to remember my birthday. I wish you would call. Because that is exactly what I have done for you always, on your special day. I wish you cared.

I wish you would sometimes read what I write, because I have always listened to your stories, even if it meant staying up all night.

I wish you would stop by in the corridor to say hello and stay for a little longer during the lunch break. Because I have greeted you every morning and wished you sweet dreams every night.

I wish you would initiate conversations sometimes, instead of always replying to my questions as if you were doing me a favour by answering them.

I wish you would come up and smile and hug me tight when you saw me waving from across the ground. I wish you did not stop at waving back. I wish you did not turn away, and walked in the opposite direction.

I wish friendship was not a formality but a cherished blessing.

I wish you could stand up for me and vouch for my honesty. Because I have always defended you, except when you have been utterly wrong. I thought that is what friends do. Try and make their friends better people.

I wish I could tell you everything on my mind, without feeling those piercing gaps and chasms and divides. I wish you would listen for one day, instead of interrupting me with something.

I wish I could count on you, like you have counted on me.

I wish I could say to everyone that you are my friend in need, just like I have been yours.

I wish I knew the real you. I wish I were a little selfish, a little less sensitive, a lot stronger, and maybe a bit unfeeling. So this would have hurt less.

I wish I knew that you took me for granted. That I was being used. That reciprocation was never your strength. That my love for you was not matched by your love for me. That you were never what the world hopes to call a friend.

I wish I knew.

But more than that, I wish I had a friend like me! And I wish that this friend were you.