Nineteen :)

Nineteen leaves me stuck somehow-
dangling precariously
between

The dignified glory of adulthood 
and the delicious nonchalance of childhood.

Nursing nostalgia for school 
and dreading the end of college years.

A reminiscence of summer break laughter 
and a fear for all those “Farewell” tears.

Between

Being too old for uniforms 
and too young for corporate suits.

An overwhelming urge to catch rainbow hued butterflies 
and looking for internships to bolster my CV.

A craving for the biggest piece of chocolate truffle 
and the realization that I have put on weight.

Between

A desire for company 
and the will to fight it out alone.

A compulsive obsession to figure all of it out at once 
and mood swings that do not let me get out of bed.

Between
Me and myself.

Nineteen leaves me clueless.

There are so many choices to choose from 
That sometimes I have no choice but to choose 
What I would rather not choose 
Just because… I am nineteen.

The last of my teens- 
The trickiest of my teens.

I am no longer a child 
not quite a grown up either-

Simply nineteen.